Sue Brown!!! OMG Sue Brown here!! And she has A Cock in the Window!!!

Yes, I am totally freaking out because Sue Brown, one of my favorite authors is here for her blog tour. Welcome, Sue and take it away!!

 

 

Sue Brown’s A COCK IN THE WINDOW Blog Tour

Hello, my name is Kit Stone and so we reach the final couple of stops before Sue Brown releases me on an unsuspecting world on Friday 20^th December. I’m Kit and my boyfriend is Steve. Think of us as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (I’m Brad, Steve is Angelina. Oy, stop hitting me, Steve!). I own a shabby gift shop in a seaside town which hasn’t made it into the twentieth century and I hand carve the cocks of gorgeous porn stars for a hobby. That’s how I met Steve. He spotted his dick in the window of my shop and the rest is history.

 

It’s almost Christmas (Sue told me never to mention that word in front of her again. If she denies its existence then she won’t have to decorate the house, or buy presents or cook Christmas dinner). I tell her she is a Grinch. I like Christmas, I don’t have to deal with the public for two whole days. Steve points out this makes me the Grinch. I tell him he can stop flapping his lips and put his mouth to better use. No, that isn’t a euphemism.

 

Anyway, to make us all feel better… a couple of Christmas dicks.

 

 

 

 

 

What were you expecting? The real thing?

Sorry, guys, I’m strictly PG-13 outside the bedroom.

When all the book sellers started yanking books with erotic covers and content left, right and centre (thanks to the storm in a teacup created by the Daily Mail) the gorgeous Alexa Corza made several covers for Sue as alternatives to the ‘cock’ version. This is going to be the new cover. *fingers crossed the title can stay the same*

 



 

Because Sue’s almost at the point of picking the winner, she’s told me to point out that the winner gets the ‘cock’ cover, rather than the ‘chicken cover’ but you can ask for the tamer version if you’d prefer.

 



 

 

Excerpt:

I take the opportunity to do another half an hour on the edit from hell. A couple of potential customers come in and I smile briefly, leaving them to wander around.

“Sweetheart, you can’t buy one of those for Grandma. Why don’t you buy her a Union Jack ashtray?”

In the middle of trying to make a paragraph resemble English, my attention is distracted by a woman and her late teenage daughter standing near the cocks.

“Because she doesn’t smoke and she’d much rather have one of these.”

“It’s a… it’s a….”

“Penis, Mum. You can say the word. You won’t explode. Gran’ll love it. She’ll put it on the mantelpiece next to the picture of Liam and Sam.”

“Kylie Owens, you shut your mouth. Grandma is a good woman.”

I watch the teenage roll her eyes and bite my cheeks not to giggle.

“Mum, you want to make Grandma’s day, buy her one of these. She’s got a room full of dusty crap. Buy her the big black one. Sam’ll find it hysterical. He’ll probably want to borrow it.”

The woman went so red I thought she really was going to explode. I kept my head down whilst they carried on bickering.

“I brought you a cuppa,” Steve said, handing me a cup of tea.

“Cheers.”

 “Are you okay? You’re kind of red in the face.”

“I’ll explain later,” I say, tilting my head towards the customers.

The teenager stares at me and then at Steve, and then her eyes open and they shoot to the sandalwood cock. Christ, what was she doing watching gay porn?

“We’re getting this one,” she says, ignoring the black cock in favour of Steve’s.

Embarrassment and conflict is clear on Steve’s face. Oblivious to the byplay, Kylie’s mother continues to fuss until Kylie stomps over to Steve, not me, and asks sweetly for it to be wrapped, staring at him so predatorily, I want to get between them and tell her to back the fuck off.

 Steve thrusts it at me and flees back up the stairs. I wrap the cock in tissue paper, making sure the shape is very obvious.

Kylie is obviously disappointed at Steve’s rapid exit but she beckons to her mother. “Pay the man, Mum. I’ll search for something for Dad.”

“Dear God, buy the bloody ashtray for Dad. If you get him anything like this he’ll have a heart attack.”

“Ewww, gross. I’d never buy anything like this for him. He can have the ship in a bottle.”

I felt rather sorry for the man, thinking he was going to be short-changed in the deal.

After they left I went to the bottom of the stairs.

“You can come down now. It’s safe.”

Steve appeared at the top, relief on his face. “I made a tit of myself, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you.”

“It was just… she’s a girl.”

“Yeah? So?”

“She knew it was mine.”

I pat his arm. “Steve, I hate to break it to you but girls watch porn too.”

 

~~~~

Sue can be found at her website, http://www.suebrownstories.com/; her blog,http://suebrownsstories.blogspot.co.uk/; Twitter, https://twitter.com/suebrownstories; and her Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/suebrownstories.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The blog tour finishes at http://ukgayromance.co.uk/ on Friday 20^th December and prizes will be drawn at 10pm GMT. Leave a comment with your email address here or anywhere along the blog tour to take part.

My previous stops on the tour were at:

·         6^th Dec. Sue Brown

·         7^th Dec. Talon PS

·         8^th Dec. Lou Sylvre

·         10^th Dec. Sara York

·         11^th Dec. Patricia Logan

·         12^th Dec. Clare London

 

My next stop is on Sunday 15^th December at: Lisa Worrall

 

PRIZES

 

1st Prize – Wooden Cock

Plus a copy of A Cock in the Window with original cover (mobi, epub or PDF)

Plus $10 Amazon gift voucher

 

2^nd prize – Wooden Cock

Plus a copy of A Cock in the Window with original cover (mobi, epub or PDF)

 

3^rd Prize x3

A copy of A Cock in the Window with original cover (mobi, epub or PDF)