Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Wednesday Briefs #7 Diventando: Becoming


Copyright 2103 JC Wallace
Welcome to installment #7 of Owen's story that now has a title. Diventando: Becoming. Yes it has a title finally!! If you haven't read an of this weekly story, click on Wednesday Briefs in the left hand column of this page for all 7 installments. When you're done check out the other flashers this week. Enjoy!

My prompt this week was "You look like a vampire on a day pass."


As Wayne lowered Owen onto his bed, Owen caught sight of his ashen face in the mirror. He looked like vampire on a day pass. He was so weak. His muscles were slack and useless. His breaths were thready and shallow. Wayne pulled off Owen’s jacket and Owen’s arms fell heavily onto the bed. Wayne was silent as he bent down and removed Owen’s black shoes. Fuck his life— what was left of it.

Once Owen’s shoes were off, Wayne continued to kneel on the floor with his head down. Owen wished he knew what to say to comfort Wayne. They had been close since childhood, but even more so since Owen had become ill. Since then that friendship had cemented into a solid bond. During each bout with his illness, each relapse, Wayne had moved into Owen’s house for months at a time, taking on tasks no one should have to or want to do. What man wanted his mother giving him sponge baths and changing out his catheter? Wayne had stepped up for Owen and had done it all without complaint. Nothing Owen said could ever convey just how grateful he was for Wayne.

“Wayne?” A sudden chill hit Owen hard and he opened his mouth to keep his teeth from chattering.

Wayne flinched hearing his name and then raised his head slowly. Within Wayne’s eyes, the harsh truth slapped Owen. God, how was he supposed to handle Wayne’s pain as well as his own?

Wayne schooled his features and cleared his throat as he stood. “We have to call your parents.”

Owen closed his eyes as Wayne grasped his arm and helped him to lie down. Owen was so tired, his muscles, his mind, his bones. At that moment, he didn’t want to deal with anyone, especially his parents.

Before Wayne could pull away, Owen grabbed his shirt. “Not tonight. Please, Wayne.”

Wayne furrowed his brow and exhaled noisily. A flash of something lit his eyes. Anger.

“How long Owen?” The clipped tone, the set of his jaw, the rigidity of his muscles, all pointed to a pissed off Wayne.

Owen pulled at the hem of his shirt, avoiding Wayne’s glare. “Couple of weeks. It’s been worse over the last couple of days. You know I’ve never make it past two years. Well, this time it’s a little early.”

Owen could hear the grinding of Wayne’s teeth. The stillness in the room was stifling. Owen hated tension. Yell and get it over with was his motto.

“Then why in the fuck didn’t you go to the doctors, Owen?”

This was the moment of truth. Once Owen spoke his intentions, his secret would be out and nothing would be the same.

Owen sighed wearily and looked up at Wayne who still glared though his body was less rigid.

“I’m tired, Wayne.”

“We have to talk about this now, Owen,” Wayne said firmly.

Owen shook his head at Wayne misunderstanding his meaning as butterflies practically tore through his stomach. Once he said this out loud it would be real not only to the people he loved but to himself as well.

“I can’t do this again. I can’t...”

The flicker of recognition in Wayne’s face startled Owen. Before Wayne could speak Owen said, “I’m always sick and, if I’m not sick, I’m wondering when I’ll get sick again. This isn’t a life, Wayne. No matter how much I fight, it always comes back. It’s never going to go away,” Owen barely whispered the last words.

Wayne frowned and lowered his head. “You can’t give up Owen. You’ve beaten this before.” His voice was rough.

Owen forced a pathetic chuckle. “I’ve won the battles, but this illness is going to win the war.”

The magnitude of that statement stabbed Owen with its finality. He was going to die. Not maybe. Not someday in the future. Soon. How soon he didn’t know. Owen closed his eyes against the sting of tears. God, he didn’t want the people he loved in pain and mourning his loss, but he didn’t have control over that. He didn’t have control over much of anything. The only thing he could do was call the doctor in Burlington and see if he could get in sooner. He needed to find out how much time he had left. Then, he could plan and prepare everyone for what was going to happen.

Wayne shook his head as if that action would change Owen’s choice. But Owen had made his decision. Eleven years of fighting was a valiant effort, worthy of praise and rest. An eternal rest. 

“Can you drive me to Burlington if I can get an appointment? I have an appointment with a doctor there in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping I can see him in the next couple of days and get more of an idea of how long I have.”

Wayne eyed Owen for several long ticks of the clock. Owen prayed Wayne wouldn’t refuse to take him. If he did, Owen didn’t know how he would get there.

“On one condition,” Wayne said as his face took on a suspicious look of hope.

Ah, shit.

“You listen to that doctor if he says there’s a chance to beat this. You can’t give up. You...just can’t.”

Owen did the only thing he could do for Wayne at that moment, he nodded.

The rigidity fled Wayne’s body and his face softened. He had an expression filled with hope.

“I’m going to get you some water. What else do you need?”

Again, right into the role of caregiver. Owen blinked and shook his head. “Nothing Wayne. Thanks.”

Wayne left the room and Owen rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow. He closed his eyes and thought of Turk and heat bloomed in his chest and filled his belly and groin. The fun they could have had together if only...This was probably for the best. It wasn’t as if they really knew one another. It’s not as if Owen felt anything for the man.

 

2 comments:

  1. It's breaking my heart. Poor. poor Owen. Poor Wayne too. I think he's right not to involve his parents at this stage. They mean well but stifling and suffering parents at a time like this is rarely what you want.

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  2. Remind me to kick your ass later JC....really I feel so horrible about Owen....Remind me to smack you around lol

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